Messy Hair

Me: My hair is a mess

Brat Child: Yeah.

Me: Hey! When a girl says something like her hair is messy you're supposed to say "No, Dear, you look beautiful"

Brat Child: But you told me not to lie!!

Lady's Man

To occupy the Brat Child while grocery shopping, I gave him my phone. 

 I caught him saying things like, 

"Hey, Girls" and "Hey Baby" 

prior to snapping these CamWow altered shots.

Lost Tooth

It's that time.  

The time when teeth are loose and the tooth fairy is on high alert.

About a week ago, 

the Brat Child lost a tooth

that he promptly swallowed along with the pretzel that pried it loose.  

When he returned home from school...

Brat Child: Mom, I'm gonna go in the bathroom to poop.

Me: Okay?

Brat Child: You're gonna haffta come in. I need you to get my tooth.

Me: (with realization dawning) Oh, no, the tooth fairy will still give you money. Trust me.

After losing the latest tooth (and creating the gap seen above) I said he looked cute.

Brat Child: No, Mom, I look like a Hell Belly*

*Hill Billy

Tricky Punch

Beware if a 6 year old tells you there's something on your shirt.  

Here the Brat Child pops his grandfather in the eye.

Wedding Job

I recently became engaged, and I asked The Brat Child 

what job he might like to have at the wedding. 

His reply- "How 'bout if I take off my shirt and dance?!"

Kisses

Brat Child: Where are you going?
Me: Out to dinner.
Brat Child: Oooo are you going to kiss?
Me: Nah, kissing is sloppy.
Brat Child: I know they're super slimy like a snail .

Happy Valentine's Day!

Handcuffs: Part 2

Last week, a local police officer visited The Brat Child's Cub Scout Pack.  

The Officer pulled out his handcuffs to show the boys and let them pass them around.  

Upon seeing the handcuffs, the Brat Child yelled, 

"My Aunt Carrie has a pair of those in her bedroom!"