Manners

While having breakfast at McDonald's, The Brat Child let out a massive belch.  I instructed him to say excuse me, and while I was doing that he was purposefully pushing out another one.

Me: You don't let your mouth hang open.  Please keep your mouth closed if you have to belch.
Brat Child: Well, I can't close my butt!

(Because eventually, everything goes back to farting)

Room Service

While attending Family Day at his sister's college, The Brat Child was able to stay in a hotel- a rare and much loved treat.  He climbed up the bed and picked up the phone.

Me: Put the phone down! What are you doing?
Brat Child: I was calling McDonald's to get some food.
Me: McDonald's doesn't deliver.
Brat Child: Yes they do.
Me: No, they don't!

The next day we see this in the parking lot....

Brat Child: I told you McDonald's delivered!