Cat and Mouse

Brat Child: When you're in the playground, you gotta stay far away from Autumn.
Me: Why? What's wrong with Autumn?
Brat Child: She's the leader of the Cats.
Me: The Cats?
Brat Child: yeah, that's what the girls call themselves: The Cats and Autumn is their leader.
Me: So you boys are running so The Cats don't get you.
Brat Child: Yeah
Poppy: Watch out they don't get their claws in you! Then you'll never get away.

Playground Love

 

Brat Child: You remember Ashlyn?
Me: Wasn't she your girlfriend last year or something?
Brat Child: Yeah. She was chasing me around at recess.
Me: That usually means a girl likes you.
Brat Child: Mom!
Me: What? I'm a girl, I know these things.
Brat Child: Yeah, I have to help Cameron because this other girl, Ashly, like Ashlyn but not it's Ashly, she was like chasing him and I was running for my life from Ashlyn and I had to help Cameron and I was like run!run! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Me: Wow, that was pretty intense.
Brat Child: I know. It was life or death and that girl almost got me. 

College Roommates

Brat Child: When I go to college I want a girl roommate 
Grandma: They don't let girls and boys room together 
Brat Child: But I want to kiss the girl!

War

Not sure what prompted this conversation... 

Me: Boys don't ever hit girls. 
Brat Child: Except when they're bothering you. 
Me: No, never, boys never hit girls. 
Brat Child: Unless they hit you first. 
Me: No, NEVER, boys don't hit girls. 
Brat Child(after a moment of silence): Unless it's a war and the girl is on the other team in the battle. Then you can shoot them.