God and Babies

Brat Child: God made all the trees right?
Me: Sure.
Brat Child: And He made people?
Me: Yes, He made Adam and Eve.
Brat Child: So, who pooped out the babies?
Me:(cue chirping crickets) Well, it all started with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden...
Brat Child: So God popped out the babies?

God's Dog

One afternoon while driving down the road....

BC: Oh My GAWD!

Me: We don't say God, we say gosh.

BC: Is God a bad word like {bleep}

Me: Uh, no, God is, well, He um, He made all the trees and stuff and it just isn't nice to use His name like that, it's rude.

BC: oh, does He have a dog?

Me: Does God have a dog?

BC: yeah do Him have a dog?

Midge: Yeah, Mom, does He have a dog? (please note teenage sarcasm)

Me: I'm sure He has one.

BC: What's his name?

Me: The dog?

BC: Yeah, him have a name?

Me: I don't know, what do you think God would name His dog?

BC: I don't know, Mom, I never saw Him before. (note 4 year old imitation of teenage sarcasm)