Accidental Biter

 A long time ago when the Brat Child was about 3:

Me: Did you bite someone at daycare? 
Brat Child: yes, but by accident. 
Me: How do you bite someone by accident? 
Brat Child: This boy hit me so hard and I couldn't see my mouth and it just bite him.

Cat and Mouse

Brat Child: When you're in the playground, you gotta stay far away from Autumn.
Me: Why? What's wrong with Autumn?
Brat Child: She's the leader of the Cats.
Me: The Cats?
Brat Child: yeah, that's what the girls call themselves: The Cats and Autumn is their leader.
Me: So you boys are running so The Cats don't get you.
Brat Child: Yeah
Poppy: Watch out they don't get their claws in you! Then you'll never get away.

Bingo Fever

While discussing the Bingo Night held at his elementary School:

Brat Child: Does the Intermediate School have Bingo Night?

Me: I have no idea. They didn't when your sister went there.

Brat Child: Well if they don't, I'm quitting.

Me: Quitting what?

Brat Child: I'm quitting school.

Me: Because they don't have Bingo Night?

Brat Child: Yes

Me: You can't quit school just because they don't have bingo.

Brat Child: You should be able to because it's a lot of fun. I really like bingo and if they don't have it in the next school, I'm quitting.

Later during bingo....

Brat Child: I have the BINGO FEVER!

Playground Love

 

Brat Child: You remember Ashlyn?
Me: Wasn't she your girlfriend last year or something?
Brat Child: Yeah. She was chasing me around at recess.
Me: That usually means a girl likes you.
Brat Child: Mom!
Me: What? I'm a girl, I know these things.
Brat Child: Yeah, I have to help Cameron because this other girl, Ashly, like Ashlyn but not it's Ashly, she was like chasing him and I was running for my life from Ashlyn and I had to help Cameron and I was like run!run! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Me: Wow, that was pretty intense.
Brat Child: I know. It was life or death and that girl almost got me.