Wedding Job

I recently became engaged, and I asked The Brat Child 

what job he might like to have at the wedding. 

His reply- "How 'bout if I take off my shirt and dance?!"

Kisses

Brat Child: Where are you going?
Me: Out to dinner.
Brat Child: Oooo are you going to kiss?
Me: Nah, kissing is sloppy.
Brat Child: I know they're super slimy like a snail .

Happy Valentine's Day!

Handcuffs: Part 2

Last week, a local police officer visited The Brat Child's Cub Scout Pack.  

The Officer pulled out his handcuffs to show the boys and let them pass them around.  

Upon seeing the handcuffs, the Brat Child yelled, 

"My Aunt Carrie has a pair of those in her bedroom!"

Handcuffs- Part 1

One day my family gathered at my sister's new house to help her with some landscape work. 

My mom went into my sister's room to change into work clothes 

and came out holding a pair of costume handcuffs.  

We laughed.  

Later that evening, the Brat Child was playing video games with his grandfather.  

His grandfather kept winning and the Brat Child turned to him and said, 

"If you don't stop, I'm going to go get the handcuffs out of Aunt Carrie's bedroom!"

You could have heard a pin drop.

Such a shame that I didn't get a photo of my dad's face.

Cheating

Brat Child: Do you like Justin Bieber?
Grandma: No
Brat Child: Me either, he cheats on girls.
Grandma: What does cheating on girls mean?
Brat Child: YOu know.
Grandma: You mean he cheats when he plays games?
Brat Child: Yes. And he dates a lot of girls and stuff.

How in the world did he learn about cheating on girls at the age of 6?