An old post from my other blog:
Christmas
2009, The Brat Child received this adorable black bunny for Christmas.
The Brat Child, being an avid fan of Spiderman and all his
counterparts, named the new addition Venom (for those of you who are not
avid fans of Spiderman, Venom is the villain who looks like a black
Spiderman). The Brat Child loved his new friend. Venom liked to hop
around the couch, climbing all over anyone who was sitting there and
even playing "games" like
jump-on-the-head-of-the-unsuspecting-human-and-run-away. We all loved
Venom. We liked him so much, I lost hold of my senses was convinced Venom would be happier with a friend, and in the end came home with not A friend but TWO friends.
We
played with our bunnies and all was right in the world. Sadly in late
spring, tragedy struck. We lost all three of our bunnies to what we
believe was bad food (I'll spare the discussion of a certain fungus). I
wasn't sure how to handle telling the Brat Child. My mom suggested I
not mention anything right away and when I had to, tell him they all ran
away.
Skip ahead to May.....
The
Brat Child, Midge and I are in the grocery store shopping for items
for the Brat Child's 4th birthday party. While in the produce section,
BC starts filling the cart with carrots. I tell him I don't need any
and he says, "Venom do. Venom told me he needs carrots." So here I was
faced with the dilemma of telling the poor child his bunny ran away on
the day of his birthday party. Wonderful.
Me: Honey, Venom and the other bunnies ran away
Brat Child: No him didn't
Me: Yes, he did
Brat Child: You have to find him!
Me: I can't find him.
Brat Child: Tell Dad to get in him car and drive around and call him name!
Me: Honey, bunnies don't come when they are called, you can't find him like that.
Brat Child: Yes you can! Him know his name!
At this point, people are staring and Midge and I are near tears ourselves at the sight of the Brat Child in the throes of despair.
Me: OK, I will find Venom.
Brat Child and Midge: You will? (obviously one of them was a little more incredulous than the other)
Me: Yes, I will, let's get in the car.
Midge: Mom, how exactly does one find a dead, er, lost bunny?
Me: No idea.
So
we get to the car and I start thinking. I decide to contact the pet
store where Venom came from. Of course, he came from a pet store an
hour away because the Brat Child asked for a black bunny and it was the only store
that had one at the time. I get the number for the store and call.
Me: Yes, I was wondering if you have any black bunnies?
Sales Girl: Let me check. Yes, we have 2.
Me: Fabulous! Is there any way you can hold one for me? I'm driving there RIGHT NOW but it will take me an hour to get there.
Girl: We don't typically do holds on animals.
Me: I understand but here's the deal. My 4 year old son's bunny RAN AWAY and you just called me and told me you FOUND HIS BUNNY. And it's my son's birthday today.
Girl: Hold on one second for me.
Manager: Ma'am?
Me: Yes?
Manager:
We can't technically hold the bunny for you, but under the
circumstances, I will tell the staff to deter anyone from buying the
black bunnies.
Me: Bless You!
So
we high tailed it to the pet store. I left the Brat Child in the car with Midge
while I went in to make my purchase. I knew the Brat Child would be too smart to
allow him to see money change hands, plus I was unsure what would
happen. I walked in and was escorted to the bunnies to discover that
these bunnies were lionhead/dwarf mix bunnies. That means they have
long hair around their head. Venom didn't have ANY long hair. Great.
So I picked the one that had the least amount of hair and took him
outside all the while muttering about how I was going to explain the
extra hair.
Once outside, I presented "Venom" to the Brat Child who cried from happiness at having his bunny back.
Brat Child: Mom, why do him have hair?
Me: Well, he was gone so long he grew a beard.
Brat Child: Venom! You all growed up with a beard!
(at
this point I am thanking whatever powers that be that my son felt that
rabbits growing beards was perfectly normal and reasonable)
Brat Child: Mom, why him have this white on him feet?
The New Venom hanging with Ethan
Me: (just noticing the tiny white tips on the paws) Well, that's from his spiderwebs.
Brat Child: Venom has spiderwebs! All Right!
Since
that time, the Brat Child has concocted an elaborate story on how Venom ran away
and how he managed to run away clear over a mountain. It's quite simple
really- he drove a tractor. Venom has somewhat of a star status around
these parts. He's made several appearances at daycare where the kids
ask me exactly how Venom managed to drive the tractor when he can't
reach the pedals. I simply say nothing and let all the kids reason it
out. They usually come up with some idea that satisfies their
questions.
Me, I'm just glad it all worked out, and I hope that we don't have any more episodes of runaway bunnies.
