War

Not sure what prompted this conversation... 

Me: Boys don't ever hit girls. 
Brat Child: Except when they're bothering you. 
Me: No, never, boys never hit girls. 
Brat Child: Unless they hit you first. 
Me: No, NEVER, boys don't hit girls. 
Brat Child(after a moment of silence): Unless it's a war and the girl is on the other team in the battle. Then you can shoot them.

He's a Spitter!

 

Midge: Some guy was hitting on me at work.

Brat Child: He was spitting on you? Like spit from his mouth??!
Midge: No Hitting on me.
Brat Child: He was hitting you!?