Me: Wasn't she your girlfriend last year or something?
Brat Child: Yeah. She was chasing me around at recess.
Me: That usually means a girl likes you.
Brat Child: Mom!
Me: What? I'm a girl, I know these things.
Brat Child: Yeah, I have to help Cameron because this other girl, Ashly, like Ashlyn but not it's Ashly, she was like chasing him and I was running for my life from Ashlyn and I had to help Cameron and I was like run!run! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Me: Wow, that was pretty intense.
Brat Child: I know. It was life or death and that girl almost got me.
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