Runaway Bunny

An old post from my other blog:

Christmas 2009, The Brat Child received this adorable black bunny for Christmas.  The Brat Child, being an avid fan of Spiderman and all his counterparts, named the new addition Venom (for those of you who are not avid fans of Spiderman, Venom is the villain who looks like a black Spiderman).  The Brat Child loved his new friend.  Venom liked to hop around the couch, climbing all over anyone who was sitting there and even playing "games" like jump-on-the-head-of-the-unsuspecting-human-and-run-away.  We all loved Venom.  We liked him so much, I lost hold of my senses was convinced Venom would be happier with a friend, and in the end came home with not A friend but TWO friends. 

We played with our bunnies and all was right in the world.  Sadly in late spring, tragedy struck.  We lost all three of our bunnies to what we believe was bad food (I'll spare the discussion of a certain fungus).  I wasn't sure how to handle telling the Brat Child.  My mom suggested I not mention anything right away and when I had to, tell him they all ran away. 

Skip ahead to May.....

The Brat Child, Midge and I are in the grocery store shopping for items for the Brat Child's 4th birthday party.  While in the produce section, BC starts filling the cart with carrots.  I tell him I don't need any and he says, "Venom do.  Venom told me he needs carrots."  So here I was faced with the dilemma of telling the poor child his bunny ran away on the day of his birthday party. Wonderful.

Me: Honey, Venom and the other bunnies ran away

Brat Child: No him didn't

Me: Yes, he did

Brat Child: You have to find him!

Me: I can't find him.

Brat Child: Tell Dad to get in him car and drive around and call him name!

Me: Honey, bunnies don't come when they are called, you can't find him like that.

Brat Child: Yes you can! Him know his name!

At this point, people are staring and Midge and I are near tears ourselves at the sight of the Brat Child in the throes of despair.

Me: OK, I will find Venom.

Brat Child and Midge: You will? (obviously one of them was a little more incredulous than the other)

Me: Yes, I will, let's get in the car.

Midge: Mom, how exactly does one find a dead, er, lost bunny?

Me: No idea.

So we get to the car and I start thinking.  I decide to contact the pet store where Venom came from.  Of course, he came from a pet store an hour away because the Brat Child asked for a black bunny and it was the only store that had one at the time.  I get the number for the store and call.

Me: Yes, I was wondering if you have any black bunnies?

Sales Girl: Let me check. Yes, we have 2.

Me: Fabulous! Is there any way you can hold one for me? I'm driving there RIGHT NOW but it will take me an hour to get there.

Girl: We don't typically do holds on animals.

Me: I understand but here's the deal.  My 4 year old son's bunny RAN AWAY and you just called me and told me you FOUND HIS BUNNY. And it's my son's birthday today.

Girl: Hold on one second for me.

Manager: Ma'am?

Me: Yes?

Manager: We can't technically hold the bunny for you, but under the circumstances, I will tell the staff to deter anyone from buying the black bunnies.

Me: Bless You!

So we high tailed it to the pet store.  I left the Brat Child in the car with Midge while I went in to make my purchase.  I knew the Brat Child would be too smart to allow him to see money change hands, plus I was unsure what would happen.  I walked in and was escorted to the bunnies to discover that these bunnies were lionhead/dwarf mix bunnies.  That means they have long hair around their head.  Venom didn't have ANY long hair.  Great.  So I picked the one that had the least amount of hair and took him outside all the while muttering about how I was going to explain the extra hair. 

Once outside, I presented "Venom" to the Brat Child who cried from happiness at having his bunny back.

Brat Child: Mom, why do him have hair?

Me: Well, he was gone so long he grew a beard.

Brat Child: Venom! You all growed up with a beard!

(at this point I am thanking whatever powers that be that my son felt that rabbits growing beards was perfectly normal and reasonable)

Brat Child: Mom, why him have this white on him feet?

The New Venom hanging with Ethan

Me: (just noticing the tiny white tips on the paws) Well, that's from his spiderwebs.

Brat Child: Venom has spiderwebs! All Right!

Since that time, the Brat Child has concocted an elaborate story on how Venom ran away and how he managed to run away clear over a mountain.  It's quite simple really- he drove a tractor.  Venom has somewhat of a star status around these parts.  He's made several appearances at daycare where the kids ask me exactly how Venom managed to drive the tractor when he can't reach the pedals.  I simply say nothing and let all the kids reason it out.  They usually come up with some idea that satisfies their questions.

Me, I'm just glad it all worked out, and I hope that we don't have any more episodes of runaway bunnies.